State of the Soul Address

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you

Basically, I need Jesus wherever I go, wherever, whenever, we ARE meant to be together.
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

How could I ever have peace, how could I even live, without the love my Savior gives?
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.

Everything is much too small a word to summarize, even abbreviate all that my beautiful Lord is to me.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Where could I go that you would not follow? To the very depths of Hell You sent Your Son to rescue me from a permanent torture… it makes me nearly have a meltdown to imagine my perfect Christ broken and bloody for me, a worthless scrap of nothing.
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

Deeper… what is deeper than eternity? Perhaps the recognition that, like those unfortunates living in the Matrix, the real world is just beyond our grasp.  And it always will be, until He calls me Home.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Better… better than perfect? Better than my Savior? Don’t make me laugh.  You say you’ve found perfection; that you love him/her like no other… you don’t know what Love is.  Were a man to offer all he has in exchange for Real Love, he would be scorned and mocked by all.
Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything.

There’s that word again. Everything.  So insufficient… how can you begin to explain the concept of infinity?  We say God’s Love is without bounds, but if you’ve ever stared into a windy ocean on a foggy morning, you know it’s impossible to discern what composes “everything”.  If we cannot wrap our minds around the size of a physical thing like an ocean, how can we ever hope to grasp the enormity of our Lord’s Love?
And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

What is there that could ever compare to this Love?  Some say the best things in life are free… this is beyond life.  Life looks like a leaf falling from a tree… this is the Vine!  Better still, forget the plant analogy; I’ll say it straight– I want Heaven, the whole package, and I won’t settle for less.  I want Someone who loves me when I’m at my worst, who will come through fire and flood to save me, and He already has!

Comment if you feel the same.

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Informal Verse

Created January 1, 2010

~ ~ ~

Why is it that we never notice a particular emotion

Unless we can tie it to that particular person?

And if we were given a chance to die

To hit the ground, rise up, and fly

How many of us would take it, look and see

It may be down to just you and me

 ~ ~ ~

Why is it that nobody knows my name

Yet everyone claims to feel my pain

In this world market, the same product

It seems I have nothing to sell but

The fruits of my work are the words of the ink

That flow through your mind ‘fore you have time to think

 ~ ~ ~

Breathe with me, say it now

Just breathe with me, don’t ask how

Deliberately stop and breathe

Forget the craving, and the need

For attention, for fame, for glory

For admission, for one “I’m sorry”

~ ~ ~

Forgive me, forgive me

I’ve forgiven you now

Stay with me, stay with me

Just don’t ask me how

Ignore the why, forget the who

Don’t dare to ask, don’t think; just do!

The world can be saved, now it’s up to you.

Mr. New President

Hi guys! This is an adaptation of Pink’s “Dear Mr. President” written about our very own (?) Barack Obama {side note; I love how Google Chrome thinks I’m spelling “barracks” wrong when I type his first name} so if you’re particularly fond of him, don’t read. Or do read, maybe you’ll get a laugh just the same.  I laughed once or twice at the original, and I don’t really loathe Mr. Bush. Meh.  From here on in, I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it.

You have been warned.

ORIGINAL VIDEO BY PINK: http://www.google.com/url?url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dp6U7vvbDI6c&rct=j&sa=X&ei=qAsYTdDRHILGlQe4w-TTCw&ved=0CBwQuAIwAQ&q=pink+dear+mr+president+lyrics&usg=AFQjCNF3f9yi51e9BCNppj4RCuJHdZ1XLg

_NO-HARDCORE-OBAMA-FANS-PAST-THIS-POINT_NO-HARDCORE-OBAMA-FANS-PAST-THIS-POINT_NO-HARDCORE-OBAMA-FANS-PAST-THIS-POINT_

MY LYRICS:

Dear Mr. New President

Come take a walk with me

Let’s pretend we’re just two people and

You’re not better than me

I’d like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

~

How do you feel when you see the protesters on the streets?

Who do answer to; is He looking out for me?

What do you see in the mirror, that your smile is whiter?

Could you be proud ‘cause blacker is brighter?

~

How do you sleep while their loved ones die?

How do you dream when their hopes only reach so high?

How do you walk with no flag flyin’ high?

Can you even walk with me now

And tell me how?

~

Dear Mr. New President

Were you a phony boy

Were you a phony boy

Are you a phony boy

How can you say

We’ll see change for the better, peace in the land of the free

We’re not blind; we see the shackles you put on the workin’ man’s feet

They’re all usin’ your picture with the tagline to sell

Tickets for the bipartisan train-ride to hell

~

What kind of dreamer would take his country’s flag off and toss it away

And what kind of dreamer would ever treat an Army veteran like a stray

I can only imagine what George Washington would say

You’ve come a long way from your birthplace to USA…

~

How do you sleep while their loved ones die?

How do you dream when their hopes only reach so high?

How do you walk with no flag flyin’ high?

~

Let me tell you about change

Teachers facin’ cuts; still makin’ minimum wage

Let me tell you ‘bout change

Soldiers aren’t complainin’; they bottle the rage

Let me tell you ‘bout change

Trying to cure what you won’t admit is a plague

Let me tell you ‘bout change

Change

Change

Your wife’s clothes are the only thing to change…

Change… change… Oh

~

How do you sleep, how do you open your eyes?

How do you walk, trampling Americans with lies?

Dear Mr. New President

You’d never take a walk with me

…

would you?

BRAINS

“Drag Show” or “The Difference Between Gay Boys and Lesbians”

GLBTSA — Drag Queen Show — Fall 2010

Can I just say… HOT!!

My favorite performers were, in no particular order: Sasha Apreciante, Gay-Z, Krunk West, and L’il Dwayne, Touiser Boudreaux, and of course… PATTI FLAT!

Now, more about these lovely “lady” and “bro” performers… My top two performances were “Don’t Stop the Only Girl” by Sasha Apreciante, and “Fancy” by Gay-Z, Krunk West, and Li’l Dwayne; although–like everyone in the freakin’ auditiorium–I gave standing ovation [and a "Drag Dollar"] to Touiser Boudreaux for her shockingly flexible and gymnastic rendition ”It’s Britney, Bitch”.

“Don’t Stop the Only Girl” was a mash-up of Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop the Music” and “Only Girl”… and Sasha did justice to both songs!  She was incredible, from her red-tipped black hair to her gorgeous black heels.  (Can I just say… I WANT THOSE OUTFITS!  I went home with tights envy, skirt envy, cape envy, and bra envy– and don’t get me started on SHOE ENVY!) And she danced soooooo well ~ Props to this girl.

“Fancy” was a dance to the song of the same nomer by Drake, performed by Gay-Z, Krunk West, and Li’l Dwayne… I adore these guys!  They got INTO it!  So many times when we think of “butch” lesbians, we think athletic, muscular, jock-types… these “dudes” BROUGHT IT.  They brought it so hard, they tied “it” to a chair and “it” got Stockholm Syndrome! xP (Little psychology pun for all mah nerds out there.)

Words cannot describe how exciting, funny, and brilliant all of these performers were (more on that later), but especially Ms. Patti Flat, our emcee for the evening, was absolutely to die for!

A few quotes from the Queen herself…

“Okay, so I am all for gender equality, honey, but I’ve noticed a few differences between gay boys and lesbians.  So, girl, I love hanging out with gay boys, because when we–I mean, *wink* when they– see a handsome, hunk of a boy, they get all flirty like “Hey babe” and blow kisses… I mean, I don’t hang out with lesbians very much, so I just haveta ask, what do lesbians do?  I mean, all you lesbians out there, tell me–do you like, wave a flannel bandanna or like, throw sawdust on the ground?”  (And of course I’m like, “Rachel if you ever so much as *touch* a flannel bandanna, you are so dead.” But then again, she wouldn’t need to. ^.^)  

“I was just kidding with you; I love lesbians, I wish I knew more of them!  I mean, they could come over and get all heavy-duty, you know, fix my appliances! [at this point, Gay-Z and her "boys" are like, "Did she really just go there?]  Seriously!!–My idea of a toolkit is a butter knife and a high-heeled shoe! … And that’s just to fix my face in the morning!” LOL.

So all in all, counting music, costumes, lights, and the usual dance attributes (poise, attitude, facial expression, calm demeanor on the stage)… I’d give this show a 11 out of 10, AMEN?!

Various and Sundry Characters

When I met you sparks flew high; lightning flashed on a moonlit sky 

Each day since has been relief; an exercise in social belief

All I know for sure is this; you are one I’m sure to miss

Really, though, I love your crowd; they sure know how to live out loud

Every second seemed a joy; with six girls and one emo boy

Nonetheless my niche I’ve found; in a group that tossed me upside-down

They’re everything I want; like MLIA in 24 font

Not sure that is the best way; to describe the ones I met today

Or perhaps I should say thus; they turned a “them” into an “us”

Rather shockingly it seems; we were swapping hopes and dreams

Maybe this is just a sign; of what I’ll learn more in time

Although it came on fast; I do believe that it can last

Loving your friends is easy to me; when with them I feel so free

{This acrostic poem is dedicated to Paula, Nicole, Cristina, Christine (I hope I spelled those right), Kat, Kennon, and of course, Rachel.}

Play Review: As You Like It

I cannot believe I actually had to make myself go to this play.  I suppose that’s what happens when one is forced to see a show for a class assignment.  Fortunately, unlike some other plays in which I have unhaply partaken, As You Like It was much to my liking (pun thoroughly intended).  For your sakes, dear readers, I’ll keep it to a maximum of three points.

First and foremost, my professor, David Adamson, played three very different roles, similar only in that they called for an older man.  He must have learnt a thousand lines for this production! *kowtows to his awesomeness*  And I’m not just saying that because he puppeteers my grade.

Secondly,  the set and effects were absolutely astounding.  Fog machines and lights added to the forest scenery like color to a picture in a frame, and the music was absolutely astonishing.  For a minute, during Amiens’s second song, I forgot I lived in the modern world and completely empathized with the youths of old… *sigh*  And don’t get me started on the costumes!  I believe they come second in my experience only to those of Beauty and the Beast (which were truly breathtaking), and Phantom of the Opera (which I need hardly qualify).  The cast and crew deserve every audience member’s full standing ovation, and they surely got mine.

Thirdly, and most importantly, the role of Rosalind (my new favorite Shakespearean character) was played to the full extent of the author’s purpose for her.  With a delightful hint of feminism and more than a hint of deviation from sexual norms, Rosalind forsakes women’s clothing to disguise as Garamine (spelling?), a shepherd and brother to “Aliena” (actually her cousin, Celia, who is rather affectionate and “would rather die than let you to leave, dear cos!”).  Rosalind, having fallen in love with Orlando but believing him to be untrue (or at least unknowledgeable in the ways of love), puts him to a test by pretending to be his counselor in love, a sort of “man to man” therapist, and I won’t tell you all that happens, but suffice it to say that she is a total Haruhi Fujioka, from Ouran High School Host Club.  And as such, it is my dream ambition–much like Bre’s ambition to find a literal Taylor the Latte Boy and sing to him–is to play Rosalind in a real theatrical performance of As You Like It, ere I die.

Reflections from a Car Window

This music makes me whole

So my words pour out as blood

Without the sound, I am cold

My poems remain dry as the mud

//

I’ve learned so much so soon

And will learn more along the way

A butterfly crashing through her cocoon

You can see I have changed today

//

I once was a child; perhaps I remain

Passionate, wild; my clothes bear the stain

Of one who dances carefree through the rain

//

Like a prima ballerina

I challenge the North Wind face to face

With Orion, and the Lion

I saddle a shooting star and give chase

//

These reflections through my window

Might not lead me to riches or fame

But my writing helps me to grow

And keeps my mind six feet from insane

//

So laugh, and say I’m much too young

Too inexperienced in this world

And I’ll admit, I still search for fun

But not “that kind of girl”

//

Take me for just what I am

Nothing less but nothing more

Try to solve the problem I am

Try to keep that wave upon the shore

Street Marked One Way

Can you keep a secret? If so, then let me tell

How you pulled me up to heaven when I’d locked myself in Hell

Even if the stars fell like rain; even if tomorrow never came

Looks like I would be content to be a player in your game

//

So if Orion flees the sky, even if these tears never dry

Es el mismo a mi, just as long as you can see

At that moment I knew I was happy just to be

However the story unfolds, if the photos turn gray

As long as I can look back, and with no anger say,

//

“She’s the one who gave me hope when I was full of doubt

And she’s the one who let me see what trust is all about”

Go on and laugh, go on, make fun

I hope someday you find the One

Really, how immature are you

Listen, and try to see as I do

//

Free your mind, and lend an ear

Realize at once who’s at fault here

If indeed you do walk in the light

Especially then, follow faith, not sight

Nevertheless, all I’ve left to say

Dear ones, Love is not a street marked “one way”

The latest poem of a drama queen’s mind

Calling Card

 ~                                                               ~                                                                                ~                                                                           ~

Ready for a change, something’s gonna disengage

And the minute I give up, I thought I’d run out of luck

Catch my breath for just a moment, then I’m Alice down the hole

Helplessly defying gravity from my skin to my soul

 //

Each and every passing moment opportunity presents

Lets me know it isn’t over and I’m not giving up yet

And it may seem rather ludicrous but I’ll come out and say

No, that was not a pun but you could take it either way

 //

Don’t mistake the silence or take my distance as a sign

Cause it’s not what I didn’t feel or that the stars were misaligned

Hope this helps you understand I’m just a little too far in

Especially the shivers you send running down my skin

 //

Look at me now look away and think of what you’ve done

See how I used to sit in shadow; now I’m dancing in the sun

Every hour spent together drains like sand through a glass

And like an addict I want more but I’m afraid that it won’t last

 //

Forgive me for saying this but is this all a dream

Or could it be reality, things aren’t always as they seem

Rather than report what I’d sooner not share

Tell you what, you can infer, and then tell me if you care

 //

However this unfolds, I mean for better or for worse

Es la historia que me provoca a escibir this verse

When I met you I had no idea you’d become so much so soon

In fact I’m sure I dramatized under the light of moon

Never should have fallen hard; I’m glad you left a calling card.

Cover it All

Cover it all

The marks on your soul

Careful: you’ll fall!

Life’s too hard when you’re whole

That taste of blood

When you’ve bitten your lip

You feel like a cabin boy

On the deck of your own ship!

~ ~

Wishing the tides,

Would wash it away.

Taking huge strides,

Swimming the other way.

The waters are kind,

So they cover it all

And the others are blind,

To the scars of the soul!

Prayer of an Author

 God, I hope you’re listening 

I’ve got so much to say 

I know I should ask permission 

So I’ll start now, if I may 

~ ~

My wishes aren’t for glory 

Or even my own name 

My sympathetic story 

Doesn’t cause me shame 

~ ~

But with every word I write 

And with every ‘I’ I dot 

I ask if it’s all right 

Please, tell me if it’s not 

~ ~

Poetry, prose, or novel 

Are all the same to me 

But my talent has run hollow 

And I live off memory 

~ ~

I need some inspiration 

Just a drop of Your Wisdom 

Give me that bright sensation 

Let me remember where I’m from 

~ ~

Show me the way 

Lord, Guide my hand 

So that if anyone read this 

Let them understand 

~ ~

My stories are uncomplicated 

Their morals have no lures 

I leave my readers satiated 

Wait—they’re not mine, they’re YOURS 

~ ~

And Lord if it’s in your will 

That I should succeed 

I know I’ll find some thrill 

But Your Word let me heed 

~ ~

So God, thank You for listening 

I had so much to tell 

Before I go I’ll apologize 

For this prayer was so pell-mell 

I sought after inspiration 

All I really need is You 

Whenever I make a creation 

Lord, I’ll give all the credit to You